Happy Birthday Taylor Bug!!

Today Tay is 14. I miss her so much....I wonder what she would be like today. What she would look  like. Who would be her best friend? Would her and Cortney get along or would they fight like crazy? Would she still be a little dancer, would she have a boyfriend, what would be her favorite color, her favorite food?

I guess I just get to be patient and wait for the day that I get to be with her again... OH my we will have so much catching up on to do.

Until then Taylor I hope you know how much I love you and how much you mean to me. Thank you for everything that you taught me and for allowing me to be your mother. I hope that you have a wonderful day. 

Love you to the moon and back little buggie.

mom

I dont even know what to say

Is this NORMAL?

I mean who does not open the door to their sons bedroom and find this?

We have a motorcycle, a guitar a pedal bike frame and much much more.

 Oh dear lord I can only imagine what is inside of that chest.....

                                        (full view as you open the door)

 And it only gets worse... it runs out into the hallway!!!  Really are you kidding me? Are my eyes playing tricks on me cuz no one does this right? Or am I simply crazy and it is NORMAL!

Ok to give the kid credit he is preparing to move. Yes you did hear right he is moving out!!!!! If it sounds like I am excited well............. mixed emotions is whats going on inside of me. He is 21 and as he says it "it is time to be on my own". Your right it is time but.......... you are still my little boy. BUT are you kidding a road bike in my basement!!!! Not so cool.

So my dear sweet little boy Brandon. Although I will always wonder what you are doing. You are only a short 20 minute drive away. So take that motorcycle and put it in your own place. But remember you are always welcome home!

*(For any of you that are wondering, I do not live like this! I do not like clutter and filth and mess. I try my hardest to keep things in my home organized and clean. But I do believe that my children need their own private space and I try to not intrude on it unless necessary. However when I do intrude I usually scream and through a fit and say things like, "Oh MY HELL" "this is so not right" "are you kidding me you like this mess" "piggie piggie". So I try to stay out. )

little sis

today is a special day..... Not only is it the first day of SPRING!!!!!  But it is my little sisters BIRTHDAY!

 Is she not just the cutest little thing you have every seen?  Her cute cute little family there. 2 dogs minus the cat that I have not been able to meet yet. ( that's Lilly and Maggie and of course her husband Eric)

I do miss her a ton. She only lives 2 hours away but it seems a eternity since I have seen her. I do believe it was Thanksgiving. Well do not fret we have a GIRLS DAY planned in April. It will include swimming, jumping on beds, eating out, shopping and mucho girl talk. I cant wait.

I hope she has a wonderful day on HER day!!! Filled with sunshine and happiness. I love you Char. Happy 29??? wow you are catching up to me!

update

When I got home from work today and was catching up on facebook I was surprised to see a post from Brandon. It said "was pushed into a sewer today by an orphan but still had a good day". I love it!!! Keep up the good work.

Have you ever had one of those moments when you think,"my kids are amazing"?

I have had many. What can I say? I am a proud mom!

This morning when I checked my phone there was a picture from Brandon, this picture!

And that's when the moment struck me! He is amazing.

Let me start at the beginning.

Brandon is known to not have the best of luck. If something bad could happen it will happen to him. And very,very seldom will you hear him complain about it.

He has been wanting to volunteer for humanitarian work for quit a long time now. And it seems that every time he gets close to being able to do so his bad luck kicks right in.

In December he was all ready to go and he wrecked his truck. Not a biggie you say. Well this is Brand that we are talking about. Bad Bad Bad driving record. We thought for sure he would have his licence revoked for eternity. (it was not)

He ended up not going .

Well for Spring Break he decided he would give it another try. I must admit I feel bad. I did not offer much support on the idea.

Less than a week before he was to leave a nice friendly police officer showed up at our door. "Brandon has a warrant out for his arrest." (this would be that luck again) We could all picture it. Brand trying to leave Mexico and they throw him in  Tijuana jail because he has a warrant out for his arrest.

After much research.... an many hours it was straightened out. (unpaid speeding ticket)

Yipee!!! And he was able to go.

At 4:30 am he came in our room to tell us good bye. At 5:00 am the morning news says sending your kids to Mexico is a fine idea if they go to the resort places. But places like Tijuana are not a good idea.

Cool!!!! We just let our son head there!!! And the son with the most amazing luck!!

Needless to say........ I am so proud of him. He has had a dream and he went after it with all his heart. There was plenty trying to stop him, there was many that did not offer much support. But he went with it.

And to do good! I have said that he does not have a pot to piss in,but he gives everything he has to help those poor little orphans that have nothing.

Yesterday I called him to see how things were going. His group had  all gone to church and dropped him off at the orphanage while they where gone.

He was playing basketball with the kids.

And the picture he sent.It sums it all up. I hope that he is proud of himself.

I am!!!!

Born this way

I stumbled upon this darling girl on you tube. She is so very talented and not to mention adorable!!! I just love this song and everything that it stands for. Lady Gaga you totally rule...... I love that you are so free and comfortable just being yourself. This is something that I definitely get to work on.

We were all born super stars.

Love you all have a great day!!!
Brenda

I cant believe it......

I did something last week that I was not so sure I was going to make it through. I know this might sound unreal considering I do believe that I have lived through the most horrible thing that can happen in one persons life. The entire time I was doing this thing I did try to remind my self of this. I told myself over and over again.... "your little angel went through so much more... you are acting like a big baby.... get over it....if she could go through the things that she did with such dignity and grace you can surely handle this one little thing."  I tried to be strong and big I really did. But the hole thing just really freaked me out. It shook my very core.

So are you dying to know what it was I did? It is just so dump!!!! I had 3 moles removed. I know I know it is so stupid. But it truly freaked the hell right out of me.

Ok lets start at the beginning. I was nervous because of the pain. I thought it would really hurt. And yes it did. Something about a needle in your right breast just does not feel very good. The 2 in the belly was a little better. I was some what prepared for the pain but what I did not prepare myself for was that they would be gone. I mean gone not there anymore. I mean when I looked in the mirror those ugly things that identified me would be gone.

After the procedure was over and I was driving home I thought about this. And no joke I had to pull over because I was going to pass out. How dumb..... i know i know.....but it is true. It took me the entire night for the weakness in my knees to go away and then it took me 3 more days to remove the bandages and another full day to finally look and the empty spots.

It has been just over a week and I am finally ok with the hole thing. Who would have thought that I am truly messed up in the head that bad. I mean really. Are you kidding me???